Funny windows stories

Just found this in slashdot comments http://linux.slashdot.org/linux/05/12/10/0114200.shtml?tid=185&tid=163 and thought it might inspire some people here [;)]

It was a reply to a microsoft fan who suggested MS haters seem to always have their registries explode

quote:
Cue for someone to tell me their stories about spontaneously combusing registries that always seem to happen to MS haters.

Here goes!

Okay, so one day I was using my PC, right? Needless to say it runs Windows, because all serious computer users use Windows. Microsoft has a monopoly and we have no choices. You can't buy a good alternative, so you might as well just give up the idea of downloading one for free!

Anyway I was sitting on my ass, browsing for porn, eating pizza, smoking cigarettes, and drinking beer like any good computer geek when suddenly I smelt something burning. No, it wasn't a cigarette that I hadn't put out. It was something worse. MUCH worse! What I smelled was the unmistakable scent of a burning REGISTRY!

That's right! My REGISTRY had caught on fire! As with all major Windows problems, I immediate ran to the one fool proof solution. I hit my ever useful Windows key, brought up the start menu, then moved my mouse mouse pointer over to Shut Down because what I needed a RESTART, and FAST! That always solves everything!

But before I could select Shut Down, some obnoxious program stole focus. It's this program you may have heard of, called Outlook Express! I had a new e-mail! Clearly in the preview pane I could see an e-mail with an attachment, but before I could do anything my antivirus software popped up a warning telling me that my registration had expired and if I wanted to protect my system I needed to pay $49.95!

I felt my mouth go dry and my stomach sink, I knew what this meant! I needed to run an antispyware program! Unfortunately I was unable to do anything at this point because I bought my system at Wal-Mart and the hard drive was grinding away trying to respond! It was so obvious that my system was not going to respond that my Window even said "NOT RESPONDING!"

Then it happened. Windows asked me if I wanted to report a bug. I thought "that's very thoughtful of them, I'm sure Microsoft will get right on with fixing my problem" but before I could send the bug report the screen when blue and filled with a really cryptic message.

I had been through this a dozen times, and knew at this point the reset button was the only remaining option. As I reached for the system it just exploded. Bits of plastic were thrown everywhere, and one even got stuck in my eye.

So that's why I tell people we need band together and search for some kind of alternative. Something different, free, stable, or all of those things. Tell everyone you know. Microsoft really suck, and I only have one eye to prove it!

Was that what you had in mind?

mcdrewski's picture

My favourite error is one I wish I had a screenshot of.

Error
"There is not enough memory to display this dialog box."
[OK]

The scary thing is I think I know what they mean :)

lorien's picture

quote:Originally posted by mcdrewski

My favourite error is one I wish I had a screenshot of.

Error
"There is not enough memory to display this dialog box."
[OK]

The scary thing is I think I know what they mean :)

Sorry mcdrewski, but just can't resist... During the development of Hail we saw Auran Jet (we tried a very early and buggy Jet before writing our own engine) pop up a dialog which said "A fatal error occurred during display of the fatal error dialog" or something like it. Likewise no screenshot [:(] It happened more than a few times...

Mdobele's picture

I love the boot ones that go...

"No Keyboard detected... Press F1 to continue or DEL to enter setup"

[:D]

LiveWire's picture

"Error: Not enough memory to delete file, please free up disk space" or something along those line

"No Keyboard detected, press any key to continue"

mcdrewski's picture

quote:Originally posted by lorien
Sorry mcdrewski, but just can't resist... During the development of Hail we saw Auran Jet (we tried a very early and buggy Jet before writing our own engine) pop up a dialog which said "A fatal error occurred during display of the fatal error dialog" or something like it. Likewise no screenshot [:(] It happened more than a few times...

Hey, I work QA - I've seen more error messages than I care to talk about and there's no shame in it either way. After all, I have seen many more much bigger and prestigous companies' frameworks/engines give very similar "ohmigod everything's broken" messages [:)]

lorien's picture

quote:Originally posted by mcdrewski
Hey, I work QA - I've seen more error messages than I care to talk about and there's no shame in it either way. After all, I have seen many more much bigger and prestigous companies' frameworks/engines give very similar "ohmigod everything's broken" messages [:)]

I just couldn't resist hassling you a little [;)] I said "very early version"...

Anuxinamoon's picture

I'm pretty sure I've seen a dialogue box on Troy's computer where it was just and exclamation mark with an OK button.... wasn't too sure what it meant though :/

unknownuser2's picture

Indeed, I still have that screenshot somewhere too. If I come across it at some stage I'll put it up here.

Morphine's picture

I saw that many-a-time working with Jet when I was doing my Dip of IT. Can't remember how to reproduce it as its been awhile, I think it had to do with something with opening a second debug screen or something. Who knows.

Dragoon's picture

Auran's own Jet error message... error displaying the fatal error window...

"An error occurred trying to display the fatal error window"

lorien's picture

Though I understand the reluctance on sumea imho M$ are a far better target than Auran. M$ really deserve it.